Resentment is a complex emotion often described as a feeling of indignation or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury. It’s a negative emotional reaction to being mistreated, and most cases involve an underlying sense of being wronged by another person.
Causes of Resentment
Resentment can be caused by several different situations, all involving a sense of injustice or wrongdoing. Common sources of resentment include publicly humiliating incidents, feeling like an object of regular discrimination or prejudice, envy/jealousy, feeling used or taken advantage of by others, and having achievements go unrecognized.
Triggers of Resentment
Resentment is commonly triggered by relationships with people who insist on being right all the time, being taken advantage of by another, feeling put down, unrealistic expectations of others, not being heard, and interactions with people who are always late.
Signs of Resentment
Several signs can indicate that you might be experiencing resentment. These include recurring negative feelings such as anger, frustration, hostility, bitterness, hard feelings, and uneasiness. Other signs include an inability to stop thinking about the event that caused intense emotion, feelings of regret or remorse, fear or avoidance of certain people or situations, changes in your relationship, and feeling invisible or inadequate.
How to Deal with Resentment
Dealing with resentment involves recognizing and understanding the emotion, then taking steps to address it. Here are some strategies:
- Practice Noticing Resentful Feelings and Explore Their Roots: Learn to catch yourself whenever you feel resentful and commit to figuring out why you’re so upset and what you need to do to fix it.
- Journal About Your Resentments: Journaling can help you identify what’s bothering you, why it’s bothering you, who or what is at fault, how you may be contributing to the problem, and what you can do to change things.
- Seek Counseling: If you’re still struggling with resentment, consider seeking counseling. Nowadays, you can opt for traditional in-person therapy or choose to work with one of the many practitioners offering online therapy.
Remember, resentment is a red flag that needs attention. In many cases, something in your situation is wrong or unfair and needs to change.
References
Resentment: 7 Signs to Look For (webmd.com)
Anatomy of Resentment: Why and How to Manage It | Psychology Today
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